My mind is is filled with clouds. Some are stratus clouds, keeping running mental lists of groceries, chores and projects to complete, activities to do with Max.
Some are more like the wispy cirrus kind, with nascent, fleeting thoughts. The sliver of a Max story to remember to tell Seth. The name of the book I absolutely need to read. Ohh my god, I need a muffin. The stream of consciousness stuff.
Some are puffy cumulus clouds, obsessing about watching the next episode of West Wing (yes, we are like a decade late to this), or what I want to eat for dinner. Or exactly what kind of sweet treat I'm in the mood for (we've all experienced the crushing disappointment of eating cookies when really, you need some ice cream). There are probably a lot of food clouds floating around. Okay, there are DEFINITELY lots of food clouds.
With all the clouds swirling around, I can sometimes be oblivious to things going on around me. The physical world. The tangible.
Until the physical finally brushes up against me. Or, I brush up against it.
Like the other night. When my hairbrush went up against the largest knot I have ever had the joy (dismay) of experiencing. Just hanging there. All tangled and big. Did I mention tangled? Bringing up the extremely pressing questions of "how long has this been there" and "how did I not notice this before??!??" Errands, playground trips, all likely done by the girl with the giant knot in her hair.
This cloudy world I inhabit seems to also have obscured the deliciousness of cashews. I've always liked them, but never did I realize how wonderful they are. It is more than just like - it is love. I have begun to make up for lost time by throwing them in everything that remotely appears to be a good match for them. Like this chicken salad, or these meringues. And now they have been turned into cashew butter. It's got a flavor that will part the clouds any day.
10 ounces roasted and salted cashews
2 1/2 teaspoons wild dandelion honey
2 tablespoons walnut or other nut oil
2 tablespoons canola oil (feel free to use more if needed)
pinch kosher salt
Run the cashews in a food processor until very fine. Add in the honey and walnut oil and process until everything comes together (this may take a bit, just be patient). Slowly add in the canola oil and process until the mixture reaches your desired consistency. I made mine on the thick side, as it would work better in a recipe I was using it in. Add kosher salt to taste.